Going Organic

Lately, Mike and I have been motivated to make some big changes in our lives. Well, ok, I have big dreams and he's supportive. He even let me force him to watch the Food Inc. documentary (if you haven't seen Food Inc. I advise watching it. I found it on Netflix), so that I knew he had a full understanding of why I'm going to turn into an organic food nazi in our home. He is also now more supportive of my spending a bit more money on healthier, truly healthier, foods. And starting a garden. I'm waiting until we move to start the garden, but I'm already learning all about it and ready to jump on it as soon as those closing documents are signed (only a few more weeks!).

So why am I making this change for our family? Honestly, it stems from my health issues. I've suffered from allergies, asthma, depression, and stomach issues for years. Years and years. I've been on a quest to really figure out WHY for the last ten years. I'm not convinced that "some people are just born this way", because there have been times in my life when it's been better. I've constantly told doctors my symptoms. They often just try to make me feel better without really figuring out why I feel bad in the first place - if my throat hurts, I get antibiotics. If my belly hurts, I get an antacid. Etc. Ugh. So freaking frustrating. For years, my mom and I have talked about needing a "team" of doctors to sit down with my files to figure out how best to get me on a healthier track. We joke that we wish there was a real Dr. House. Alas, it seems as though I must be my own "Dr. House".

So I started. I've been paying closing attention to how foods affect me. First I focused on eliminating things that really mess up my belly. Bye-bye broccoli and garlic :( BOO! I love you both so much. Then, worked on getting my asthma under control. Still working on it, but it's better. Next, I got my allergies retested and started over with treatment. Now, I'm back to the diet and exercise portion of making myself feel better. For the exercise, I am starting a couch potato to 5k in 9 weeks running program. It's an awesome plan. Check it out here.

And with all of this. I'm continuing the preservative free me, adding Mike and the pets into the mix (we are trying out this pet food and this one to see what they like best).

If you are interested in what we're doing, watch Food Inc. and read this book. I admit it's quite repetitive, but it's about a wholistic approach to health rather than dividing our body into systems. We all know one plays into another, so why is our medical field split up as it is? I'm not done with the book, but I'm anxious for the part where I get to take a few quizzes and be shown which vitamins and foods can supplement what my body needs.

And really in all of this, if we don't notice a difference, we'll just live how we like. But for now how we like is to try this healthier lifestyle and see how it goes.

Teaching: Connecting to Students

I came across a great article today on my Twitter feed. I wish all teachers would read it, most especially the ones who kinda suck. I mean, we could all use a great reminder about this, but daily I see, or hear of, teachers who could simply use this to get them through the day easier. Parents and other adults, too!

The article talked about taking a trip down memory lane. Focusing on the things that you remember from being in junior high, or high school, or grade school. Strangely, when I woke up in the middle of the night I started thinking about whether or not I remember all of my teachers. I do! I could name every single one from Kindergarten - 7th grade. It's at 8th grade the my memories switched more to who was in the class with me. I know I took yearbook with Brynn, but don't have a clue who the teacher was. I know I was in science with Dustin (sigh) and Michelle but I have no idea what we learned. I was in band. I only remember three or four of my high school teachers, too. And I can't help but wonder if it's because they didn't take the time to connect with me about things I thought were important. I remember the teachers who made learning fun - like Mr. Huber, who lit his arm on fire in Chem/Physics. And the one who was my coach - Mr. Constance, who had a special nickname for me (Ben-wah). And Mrs. Cummings, who challenged me and refused to let me work at less than my best. Thank God she forced those Latin roots down our throats!

My point is this: As adults, we need to be a part of children's lives in ways that were meaningful to us, because though the world has changed, kids are kids, and the things that were important to me in 7th grade are important to 7th graders today, and were important to my mom in 7th grade, and my grandma, too. I am regularly heard to be recalling stories of "when I was your age" to my students - but not in the I'm-an-old-person-let-me-tell-you-about-life-way, more like "I'm-not-an-idiot-and-I-know-your-parents-annoy-you-mine-did-too" kind of way. (LOVE YOU MOM & DAD, but let's face it, junior high was annoying for everyone in the house....probably most of high school, too, no?)

So while I think I do a pretty good job of what this article is recommending, I'm going to work it all out the way the author suggests. She says to consider your responses, at a given age - I pick 7th grade because that's what I'm around most, and remember. Truly remember what it felt like, and use that to connect to kids.

1. Did you have a nickname?
No, not until high school - Gus by my friends, Benwah by my softball coach.



2. What were the names of your 5 closest friends? Did you even have friends? Yes, I was quite social. My BFF was Erin. I was also very close to Amanda & Jenny. Barbie, Lindsey & Michelle, Angie, and Brandi. Zach, Dustin, Max, Casey, Mike...it was a million times easier to be friends with boys because they weren't overly dramatic and girly.


3. How did you choose to spend your lunch or recess?
Outside at the blue picnic tables, mostly sitting around and gabbing.


4. What music were you listening to?
Garth Brooks, Pearl Jam, Simon & Garfunkel, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Bon Jovi


5. Did you play a sport? Softball


6. Were you involved in an after-school activity? No


7. At what age did you see alcohol or drugs for the first time? 13


8. What was the name of the person or persons that you liked more than as a friend?
Preston <3


9. What did you gossip about? Slutty/bitchy girls, hot boys


10. Had you ever passed notes in class?
We mostly passed them in the hall to friend who weren't in our clases.


11. Did you have a favorite teacher? What was his or her name? Why was that person your favorite?
Mr. Waltuch, because I LOVED the history stuff he taught us.
Mr. Yoes, because he was kind and funny.


12. Were you in a clique? If I was, it was enormous.


13. Were you a bully? A protector? A victim? A bystander? 
Sadly, I was probably a bystander.


14. How did you get to school?  Begged for a ride, or walked.


15. What movies came out during that year? Wayne's World


16. Do you still own anything that you made at school during this particular grade?
If I do it's in a box in the attic and I can't recall. Lots of pictures though!


17. Do you still have any friends that you’ve had since that year?
Yes, thanks to Facebook, I'm still in touch with many of them. Two were in my wedding!


18. Did you have a favorite expression during this time? I don't think so.


19. Did you ever do something during those years that makes you wince?
See #13 :(


20. Is there a direct line between who you were then and who you are now, or are there only faint traces of that student in the person you’ve become? Yes, I often feel like the same girl, but much more stable.

Goodreads.com

I found this great site that pretty much rocks my inner geek. Which really? Who decided that someone who likes to read is a geek? I don't like the stereotype, but I will also fully admit that this musical, book loving, rule-follower is a geek. And I like geeks. Which is weird because Mike's geekiness is polar opposite of mine. He's one of those trivia, video game, closet Dungeons & Dragons geeks (though in the last 5 years I've never heard him mention this or ever seen him play it, I'm sure he would if given the chance). Let's call me a nerd, and he a geek. Better? I think so.
Anyway, back to the reason for this post. I was Facebook creepin' on a friend who was posting book reviews. I followed the reviews to the Goodreads site and fell in complete nerdy love. I immediately created an account and added books I'd read along with my rating, books I want to read - the list could go on and on, and the book(s) I'm reading right now. I connected with friends who already have a Goodreads account. Um, you didn't tell me this?! Hello!! And I can see what they are reading and liked and want to read. It's nerdy and fun and I love it.
If you want to join me, log in to this site, create an account, and add me as a friend! My name on there is K10ELLI. Yes, I stole the 10ELLI part from my mother-in-law's license plate. Clever, huh? It took me two years to figure it out. Where was my nerdy brain then? Oy.
So sign up, friend me, and let's party....er, I mean read!

Preservative Free Me...as much as I can be

So, it's been a week, ok fine a work week plus today, so 6 days. And I've been eating the best meals. All preservative free. Well, as close as I could get. I was out last night and wasn't too sure about the salad dressing, but most of the meal fit my new lifestyle.
It's like a light bulb finally turned on and I realized that though we ate healthy food in this house, it was still full of things that just simply shouldn't be in the human body. Made up, fake things that I can't even pronounce. And even things I don't really like - namely, meat. Why was I eating stuff that I didn't like? Why was I eating things I knew were making my health conditions worse?
So, my disgust in the food I was eating and in myself for eating it in the first place, pushed me to find the food I now eat. I was hesitant that there would only be a few things I could eat with these restrictions and my allergies all being taken into consideration. I was plesantly surprised to find that there were lots of yummy things that fall into this category!
I started by reviewing the new food pyramid. Then I made a list of foods in each category that I could/would eat without upsetting my stomach or allergies. There was a lot of things I could eat! Things I like - berries, fish, nuts, lots of veggies. Then I found that some of the things I was already eating and like were still going to fit this new life of mine. I mean, how was I going to succeed at changing my life if Mott's Natural applesauce couldn't be a part of it? Then I put it all on Facebook and tried some of my friends' suggestions.
Here's what I've tried and love (or will try this week because it's in my cabinet calling my name). Many of them are gluten free. All of them are dairy free. A few are soy free, but all of them are low in soy:

• Mott's Natural applesauce (SO YUMMY!)
• Green Giant frozen veggie mixes - Healthy Heart with the barley is my fave
• Sunbutter Natural w/Omega 3 - sunflower seed butter similar to peanut butter - thanks Rebecca!
• Dr. Praeger's veggie patties (don't think it'll taste like a burger, it won't, but super yummy!)
• Agave nectar
• Justin's Honey Almond Butter
• Ezekiel bread & English muffins (they have tortillas too!)
• Quinoa (and quinoa noodles)
• Nature's Path instant oatmeal
• Better Oats RAW instant oatmeal
• Salmon and Tilapia (frozen, but the only ingredient it the fish!)
• Earth Balance buttery spread (not sure on this one, but gonna give it a try)
• Coconut milk - vanilla
• Silk almond milk - vanilla
• Blue Diamond almond milk - chocolate (I like the vanilla silk better and think I'd like the chocolate of the Silk brand best)
• Flax Plus Hemp cereal
• coconut milk yogurt
• tomato sauce (don't remember the brand but it's all natural)
• basalmic dressing (again can't recall which, but I could pronounce all of the ingredients in it)
• veggie chips
• edamame
• SnaPea chips

So, all of this, plus the fruits and veggies, and I'm good to go. I even ate out last night and was satisfied with a salad with some grilled shrimp on it. I ordered fat free italian dressing, but would have rather been able to see the ingredients in it. I know there was preservatives in it. I only used 1/2 of what was brought to me though.
I'm hoping that once I get into the habit of eating these foods, I'll be able to modify it again and watch the fat content. I don't think it's any more than what I've been consuming. In fact, since nothing is fried I've got to guess that it's a least a little bit less than what I've been consuming. I want to make it less, but that Sunbutter is SO GOOD and not that low in fat. Not any more than peanut butter, but still.
What natural foods do you enjoy most? Are you going to try any of the ones I listed? If you do, let me know what you think!

TMI = Too Much Infertility

It's been nearly 14 months now. 484 days that we have been married. 484 days of trying to add children to our family. The first few months were fun. Lots of "being newlyweds" and hoping that this would be the month. That died off quickly and we realized that it wasn't going to happen for us the same way that it was happening for others all around us. Many couples conceive fairly easily despite the slim chances each month. We knew we were going to be in a different club. The "We're happy for you, but why isn't it happening for us" club. You don't get a choice regarding membership.

What you DO get to choose is how you handle it and what path you take. Mike and I did preliminary testing to say that everything is ok. There is still a scan I can do, but it involves giving blood which causes me to pass out and have seizure-like activity. I am going to call on Monday to request that they take blood from my hand. If that is okayed, then I will schedule the scan.

Assuming the scan reveals things are ok, we will continue trying. I'm eating differently, better for my body. And doing acupuncture and fertility yoga. We are both taking vitamins and hoping that finding balance and staying positive will work out for us. We know the option of IUI or IVF are right around the corner and we'll have to make a decision about those procedures soon. We go back and forth about two main things regarding those processes - 1) Can we afford to empty our savings (insurance covers nothing) and possibly go into credit card debt only to have it not work? 2) Can our marriage handle the extra hormones I will be injected with that are required for the procedure? I already suffer from, and medicate for, hormonal imbalances. Is it a good decision for us to add to that problem? There’s a lot for us to think about.
If the scan reveals that I will not be able to get pregnant, will we have a family that includes children? We both know that ultimately we want to be parents. But we also both agree that we are not ready to adopt. How and when will we know we are? Do you think it's like knowing when to marry? Or buy the perfect house? Or when you know you've found your wedding dress?
I'm hoping we get that feeling so we know without doubt. In the meantime, I thought I'd share a few things that everyone should know when dealing with women and couples of child-bearing age....

What is said: "When are you going to start popping them out?"
What is heard: If we don’t act like we didn’t hear you, we may reply “Oh, we’ll see. We’re enjoying just being married right now.”
What is thought: We’re trying and it’s not working for us. Thanks for making us feel awkward and rubbing it in asshole.


What is said: “Oh, I know what you’re going through! Those four months getting pregnant with #3 were so trying”
What is heard: In a trying-not-to-be-a-bitch-and-rip-your-head-off way, “Yeah, it’s different for everyone.” And exhale.
What is thought: Seriously? 4 months? #3, as in you have two others? Um, are you a complete idiot or just an insensitive bitch? Ugh!


What is said: "My children are so amazing. I simply can't imagine life without them. I just don't see how anyone could possibly be complete and enjoy life without having kids.
What is heard: With bitter undertones of someone obviously trying to keep her temper, “Oh, we’re very happy in our life right now. Kids would be great, but we are really loving life.”
What is thought:  Well, if we believed that we would immediately be thrown into a downward spiral of depression as if our infertility didn’t already have us teetering on the edge daily anyway. And if we are more mature and know better, then we’ll write off the stupidity of others yet again, but not without the cut words can cause on the heart. And not without feeling like someone is judging us and thinking we are lesser than. Or worse, weak and delicate and deserving of pity. Ewe.

What is said: "You just need to relax and it'll happen.
What is heard: Smile.
What is thought: Really? Where did you get your medical degree? And if I relax any more, I'll be dead.

What is said: "It's going to happen for you. I just know it."
What is heard: "Thank you."
What is thought: Holy shit, you're psychic? Why do people say that sort of thing when they don't know what's going to happen.

What is said: "You guys just need to have more sex."
What is heard: "Well, we are newlyweds"
What is thought: Do you really want me to show you the calendar I track our sex life on? Yeah, there's an app for that!

I know that anytime the above things were said to us it was out of kindness, but being on this side of things has really shown me how sometimes not saying anything is the kindest of all.
That said, one friend shared words that meant a lot to me. And knowing there are other women in my life who have or are combatting the same thing is helpful. The kindest bit shared with us yet, was to simply say something that meant "I am praying for the intended to come to be." It was the most honest and real anyone has been with us and most appreciated. Thanks, Marcia!
Going through this has really opened my eyes to how insensitive I could be if I wasn't fighting to make my body fulfill our dreams. I would have been the one to post my positive pregnancy test as my profile picture on Facebook. And to float around on cloud nine for 9 months only talking about the joys of life and becoming a mother. And now, while the joy of motherhood would make me want to scream "We did it!!" off a mountain top, I would do it with sensitivity for those who can't, or haven't had kids but dream of them.

I hope this post, while personal, and not my normal humorous take on things, was enlightening to you in the way this whole situation has been to Mike and me (yes, it's me and not I).

Yet another reason I love babies...

Yes, football will fill our home this Sunday.
Who do you root for?

Two Years Ago Today

I love history. I can remember specific moments sitting in Mr. Walintinsen's 7th grade social studies class leaning my cheek on my palm with my elbow on my desk, always behind in the notes because I was so enthralled by the stories. I tucked my Doc Martin boots under my chair the day we learned about WASPs and their part in becoming Nazis in WWII. And I fell in love with Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin and the musical 1776. Sigh, I love history.


I used to complain to my parents that they, along with my grandparents lived through such amazing historical years for America and I was left with nada for my generation. That was pre-the first Iraqi war in the 90s, pre-9/11, pre-the present war, and of course pre-the first black American president.


Two years ago today, is one of the few times in life that I will always remember. I'll remember where I was and how I felt and all the minute details of my surroundings. It was a day that will be in textbooks for years to come. It was the day that Barack Obama was innaugurated as the 44th president of our country.


I was standing alongside a Renee in our school's library, watching the ceremony on the only TV that could access cable. We crammed in all interested students to watch before they headed off to lunch. It was silent, with the occasional whisper. The faces of my co-workers reminded me of kids on Christmas morning, anxious to hear what was going to come next.

It was amazing to feel as though I was a piece of this history. The feeling grew when I returned to my computer and saw this picture that my friend had sent. It's her daughter and the other todlers at daycare.  It made me proud to be an American in a time when that is not always easy to say.